She's a city girl, she doen't know how to can.

As I was walking past rooms in the nursing home, I heard an eldery guest of one of the residents state "Well, she's a city girl, she's doesn't know how to can". I can sympathize, I don't know how to can, either. It makes me feel a bit out of place.

I haven't written in a while for a couple of reasons. For several months the hospice census has remained low. I've had the same three clients with new clients here and there. However the new clients seemed to pass away with in a week or so of me seeing them. My job started to feel hohum and and writing about it seemed a chore.

I was thinking about that today when I decided I should probably write about that a bit anyway.

I got into this job knowing next to nothing about what it would entail. I was prepared for it to be emotionally gut wrenching and dishearting. I wasn't really prepared for it to be like other jobs... the kind that you sort of get into rut and find a little dull sometimes.

Sometimes I don't feel like I matter much to the department because I'm considered a non vital service. The type of massage I perform in hospice is vastly different from what I do in my private practice. On the technical side, I feel like I don't do anything at all. I know it's a lot about intent and what you are there to accomplish...which is providing positive touch, not releasing muscle contractures. Still, when the HHA are applying lotion after baths and then you come in to give a light massage which entails applying lotion... you start to feel redundent.

I have three new clients this week, so things are picking up. That means new people who I can interact with and affect positivly. Hopefully it will blow a little spark into the job and make me feel usuful again.

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