I saw D. today and asked her how she was doing. She answered me. Then I asked her another question and she answered that, too. When I started her massage she exclaimed in her Virginian accent, "My that just feels like there is ice in it!" when I applied the lotion.

D. hasn't spoken to me in months. She has barely uttered a coherent word, much less a sentence complete with southern drawl. I think she spoke to me more today, that she has the entire 9 months I've been seeing her. I told my mother what happened when I got home and she said "I hope you said your goodbyes to her before you left". I did.

My mom confirmed what I suspected. Often a person will seem to miraciously be better after a long time of illness, only to pass away soon after. It seems like it is the body's way of saying goodbye to everyone before it goes. I've never seen this happen before, and frankly I became a little nervous when D. started talking to me so clearly.

I very likey could be wrong. It could just be a fluke... but I don't know. When M. died, I was shocked and mad that I missed the signs when they were there in front of me. I think it would be better to prepare myself for the possibility of D. dying soon.

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I've been writing this journal for awhile now in order to help figure out this job and death and living with these fears face to face. I wanted to extend an invitation to readers to ask questions or make comments about this journal. If there is something or some expierence you want to know more about, I would be happy to write about it if I can. Thanks!