The First Has Left

Today the first hospice client I ever treated was discharged from hospice. She had stabilized and even gained a pound of weight, so it was determined she no longer was in need of hospice services.

I have been wondering for so long what it would be like when I wouldn't have her on my schedule anymore. I have been seeing her once a week for two years. I honestly didn't think it would be because she was discharged, and it is almost a relief. I got out of having to deal with my first client pass away.

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I've come to notice that a lot of people who are referred to hospice see it as the first step in a death sentence... and I guess I could see how they would feel that way, most of the time it is. Instead of taking advantage of hospice right away, they wait until the last minute when there is little time left for help to be given.

I guess I would be the same way. I would like to think that I'm enlightened and would face death without fear, but I know that isn't true. If there is one thing that this job has taught me, it's that watching other people die doesn't solve my issues. It's not the death of others that I fear, it is my own. That is something I still need to face on my own.