Next Step

I have my next appointment set up for April 6th. I am both nervous and non committal. There is only the appointments to see an OB/GYN for more poking and prodding and then the consulting with the surgeon.

I've come to understand that I'm supposed to feel used to this by now. In many ways I do. This is just another step in the process. I have done this step several times. I'm mostly expecting to not find out any information at all. Just more 'we don't know'.

I try not to get mad at the medical community. The impression that doctors know more than they do is the fault of the patient as much as the rules of society. I'm consulting them for their opinion. In the end it is always my choice towards the action.

I discussed with my parents that if they have nothing definitive to give me, I'm not going to undergo any surgery. That decision has given me some peace.